1. Scrubs that fit. Tall girls get really tired of having cold ankles and looking like Steve Urkel.

2. Sales reps who follow up after they sell you thousands of dollars' worth of equipment. Maybe even showing up to in-service us on how the thing works. Or at least assisting us in getting it serviced three months down the road when it breaks.

3. Patients who know that "nothing to eat or drink after midnight" means you can't eat a mint or chew gum. If it goes in the mouth, if you swallow any part of it, it's a no-go.

4. To be able to put in a Foley without needing spelunking headgear. On some patients, it takes two of us - one to keep the thighs out of the way and the other to take a blind shot as to where the catheter might go.

5. For some surgeons to give God back his complex.

6. For the CRNAs who seem to have forgotten that they started out as nurses before they went for the bigger payday to realize that we're all on the same team.

7. IV caths with adequate venous access. Do you have any idea how bad propofol burns going through a 22-gauge cath?

8. For the scrub tech to trade places with the circulator so she can see what it feels like to run all over East Egypt.

9. For surgeons to focus their attention on their own cases and stop worrying and whining about what someone else is doing in another room.

10. Naked patients. Please take the patients' under garments off. That includes bras (those underwires pose a problem with the cautery and EKGs) and socks so grimy Biz Bleach wouldn't help.

11. Clean patients. We see and smell all of you when we're positioning you for surgery. Please wash or hose down at home before you waltz in.

12. For older nurses to stop eating their young. These young nurses are going to replace you. Deal with it. Stop withholding information.

13. ORs designed by OR nurses. Carpet has no place in pre-op or second-stage recovery. Do you know how hard it is to get blood and vomit out of rugs?

14. More money. "Thank you" and "great job" touch our hearts, but raises and bonuses really motivate us.

15. Instrument pans that have the most commonly used instruments in them. Why process a pan of instruments and leave out hemostats, scissors, knife handles and needle holders?

16. For OR staff everywhere to remember what Mom told them: Go to the bathroom before you leave home. At the bare minimum, a courtesy flush (the bathroom's usually connected to the dressing room).

17. Lab work that's complete the day before surgery or, at the very least, a couple of hours in advance so that you might know the patient is a hemodynamic train wreck before you go opening all those packs and supplies.

18. Aerosol Prozac pumped through the ventilation system. We see you and work with you every day. Trust us, you need something.

19. For people to stop telling me to smile. Do I look like some kind of doll? Smiling may take fewer muscles, but it's causing me wrinkles. Besides, if I do smile, you'd better watch your back, because I'm up to something.

20. To realize that not everything in our job is life-and-death. It's OK to laugh at the funny stuff (out of the patients' hearing range). Even when it wasn't intended to be funny, sometimes you'll still laugh. It's the nature of the beast in us. If things aren't going right today, look for the humor in the situation. After all, Scarlett, tomorrow is another day. Take the serious more humorously and the humorous more seriously. And, remember, any day above ground is bound to be good.