1 You're certain that the surgeon you worked with today uses his personality as birth control.

2 You really think the best photograph of yourself lately is the one on your ID badge.

3 Your cabinet at home has more of those blue containers left over from sterile packs than it has dishes. (One has even replaced your butter container.)

4 When you're bathing or showering, you start from the center and wash out, like you do on a prep.

5 You do a better shave prep on the patient than you do on your own areas that need a shave.

6 You'd rather get 15 minutes more sleep than put on makeup or fix your hair before going to work. (Besides, the cap and mask hide a lot, and whom are you trying to impress, anyway?)

7 You know that wearing the cap and mask is going to hide your identity, so when you face this patient at Wal-Mart, he isn't going to know who you are and try to talk to you.

8 You insist your phone service plan have caller I.D. on every phone. That's the first thing you check at 0630 when the phone rings on your day off.

9 You write RN after your signature on anything. On your credit card receipt, your checks and the speeding ticket you got coming in on-call.

10 You think that the vending machine in the lounge should have Prozac right next to the chocolate bars.

11 You believe that all patients should be put to sleep, and as soon as possible.

12 Unless you're old enough to know better, you still think you might marry a surgeon.

13 You can look at a naked (that's neckid here in the South) body and really think, "Parts is parts."

14 You can eat things like that green stuff in that blue bowl that's been in the lounge refrigerator for more than a week, and not get sick. You might even ask around for the recipe.

15 You can look at an adult circumcision wrapped in Coban and think, "Hmm ... it does looks like a Doberman pinscher's ear."

16 You're finding that the multiple pairs of scrubs at home are slowly replacing your other clothes and you're actually taking them on trips with you as loungewear.

17 You save PTOs/vacation time and every penny to go to the AORN meeting somewhere far away, and prefer this to going on family trips.

18 Sexual harassment? All these years you thought sexual innuendos, bawdy jokes and remarks about your anatomy was normal OR conversation.

19 You believe that "a chance to cut is a chance to cure."

20 You believe that the size of the patient is in direct proportion to how long you're going to have to stand beside that surgeon holding those retractors with his elbow constantly hitting you in the chest.

21 When you return to the OR after time away, you find that the smell of a burning cautery stimulates fond memories.

22 The CDC or OSHA classify your OR shoes as a biohazard.

23 You can look at a tissue specimen and start to plan what you're going to cook for supper that night.

24 You can retrieve a pager or cell phone attached to the surgeon under his sterile gown and never so much as think about where you're putting your hands. His parts is just parts, too.

25 You go home and realize you haven't been to the bathroom all day. Your bladder has the capacity of an elephant's.

26 You know how a situation is going by which four-letter words you hear in the OR: oops, uh-oh and two others we can't print that are usually preceded by either "Ah, #@*%" or "Oh, &!%$."

27 You fail to notice that your body's expanding until you wear regular clothes. Scrubs can be so forgiving of an expanding figure.

28 The most exercise you get is running between the supply room and the OR during a case in which the surgeon can't decide what he wants.

29 You're constantly washing your hands and observing others to see if they wash theirs. Especially before leaving a restroom.

30 You can fix or troubleshoot any equipment at work, but go blank when it comes to things that break at home. You even name the equipment at work after infamous surgeons.

31 You occasionally sneak foodstuff and hide it in your mask on those days when lunch doesn't appear to be on the schedule.

32 During boring moments on a case, you look at the Betadine on your skin and clothes and think about how you could market it as a tanning agent.

33 You think, "Here I am with a job where people give their permission in writing to poison them with chemicals, assault them with sharp objects, pull their guts out, put staples in their skin and cause excruciating pain. And you're going to pay me to do this?"

34 You can get great satisfaction and express your innermost feelings just by handing the surgeon the cautery pencil, pointing to an area on the operative site and stating, "Bovie this."