Sterile supplies that you can't open sterilely.
You can't open most packages of 2 x 2 sponges without contaminating them. I'm not sure what's worse, supplies that you have to pry out of their packaging, or supplies that nosedive to the floor because they're too heavy to plop out on the field.

Electrical cords that aren't long enough to reach the wall sockets.
Patient beds are the No. 1 culprits. You can't plug the bed in, move it next to the OR bed and raise or lower it to reach the level you need to transfer the patient. And forget using an extension (extinction) cord. Where are those when you need one?

Anesthesia can't hit the trashcan right beside them.
Do they think their moms or wives work here?

The warm blanket tug-of-war.
Here's a fun little game we nurses like to play. We put the warm blankets clear up to the neck while anesthesia is trying to put on all the monitors. They push the blankets back and we push them up. Up and down, on and off. I usually continue this until they say something or at least give me that look I've so grown to love.

Cheap gloves.
Gloves are the one thing we need to be strong and reliable (besides good help and maybe a man), and yet some facilities buy the cheapest they can find on the market. I don't know about you, but I still say, "If it's wet and it's not mine, I'm not touching it." If you give me cheap gloves, I'll just wear two or three, four, five, however many.

The circulator's lot and lore.
When you're circulating, the scrub person asks for stuff she should have already opened on the field, the surgeon is yelling to connect everything up and his private scrub is asking for at least two more items. In the middle of all this, anesthesia asks, "Could you get me another bag of fluid?" Sure, and while I'm at it, I'll mop the floor. And can someone please explain why the circulator spends more time crawling around on the floor than standing up during some procedures? Some days the knees of my scrub pants are dirtier than my Betadine-covered warm-up jacket.

The drugs you need now are never in the room closest to the room you're in.
They're always in the room down the hall, or in the room one hall over.

Sensational surgeons.
Some doctors turn the simplest procedures into melodramas, while others can make a case from Dante's Inferno run as smoothly as a glycerin suppository.

Supply shelves or bins that are empty at the start of a 0630 shift.
Who fills these things up? Who took the last one and didn't call central supply for more? If the par level is a specific amount, who ensures that it's kept up to par?

Offers of help evaporate.
Why do some nurses who offer to help you get the case started disappear when it's time to shave two areas and prep three? Was moving the patient the only thing they had in mind in helping me to get the case started? Put your hat and booties on, get some gloves on and help me.

Somebody's always moving the OR bed.
You can position the OR bed right smack dab in the center of the room, and every person that comes in that room - from the tech, to anesthesia, to the surgeon - will reposition the bed. Does the center of the room move when the circulator isn't looking?

Vomit and vittles.
A patient can be throwing up his toenails before an abdominal procedure and still the first thing he'll ask you between dry heaves is, "When can I eat?"

A patient's worst fear.
Why do patients tell us not to let them fall off the table? Like that's the one thing we're going to let happen. That would leave us with a lot of explaining to do, not to mention the extra paperwork.

Nurses' heightened sense of smell.
People who think that nothing can gross out an OR nurse have never been up close and sometimes too personal with a foul procedure or patient. But I don't think I've ever seen a surgeon gag. How do they keep from doing that? Do they breathe through their mouths? Hmm.

My cell phone never works.
A surgeon's cell phone rings in the OR and we can't even get bars to show up on ours. We have the same service and the same model phones. And don't the people calling him realize he's a surgeon and he's in the OR working?

Indiscriminate itches.
Why do we only itch in places we can't ask someone else to scratch, and only after we've scrubbed in?

Puckered lips.
Some nurses think kissing up to the surgeon is going to keep him from yelling at them. Please! The only time he really remembers your name is when you screw up.