SOULMATES Marie Sakosky-Kelly, RN, has always kept Dr. Kelly flying straight.

I lucked out. I married the prettiest and best nurse in Philly. My wife, Marie, and I met in the ICU in 1984. There I was, a nervous ortho intern about to begin the most taxing rotation of my required general surgery year — vascular service. I felt woefully unprepared, since I spent my last year of medical school devoted to easy, irrelevant rotations, like derm, ophtho and my favorite, radiology in Ireland.

Internship was indeed a rude awakening and there I stood, immersed in fear in the SICU (surgical intensive care unit) about to face some very SICK patients. When my chief resident told me to shock the patient starting at 50 joules, I began to feel cold and clammy. The only shock to be experienced was mine.

The nurse at bed 6
After my apoplexy subsided, and I regained control of my bodily functions, I noticed a tall and statuesque nurse in the background, gently ministering to a sick patient. From that moment I realized that the SICU did have its advantages. Closer inspection revealed beautiful blue eyes and a smile that Elizabeth Taylor would die for. After many subsequent encounters — some not medically necessary — with this vision, I quickly learned of her clinical acumen. Her skill in keeping even the most debilitated patients stable was remarkable. In 2 short weeks, I received a tutorial in fluid, respirator and acid base management from the nurse at bed 6.

Her skill was so remarkable that whenever I had a question concerning patient management, I turned to my new friend for advice. She was very diplomatic in rendering counsel. Rather than saying "Dr. Kelly, you idiot, this patient is in CHF," she would calmly state: "Dr. Kelly, I think 20 mg of Lasix may be a helpful adjunct to this patient's care."

Boy, did she get me through that month! Not only was this nurse talented and beautiful, but she even snickered at my one-liners. Whatever it took, this woman would be my wife.

4 great lessons
After 27 years of marriage, my favorite nurse continues to instruct me in the art of medicine. To wit:

• Slow down. Marie continually reminds me that we're in the zone when we're truly present to our patients. Type A behavior violates our patients' dignity and impairs our clarity. We can't process what patients tell us when we act like ferrets on espresso.
• Touch and engage every patient. The woman awaiting shoulder surgery is not "the rotator cuff in room 3," but rather someone's wife or mother. A simple touch or smile does wonders for healing.
• Follow protocol. My wife has a PhD in compliance. Hand washing, sterile technique, timely records and precise medication dosing are matters of routine. There are no shortcuts when it comes to patient care.
• Advocate for patients always. Marie had no trouble speaking up to overbearing surgeons when they were wrong. There is only one right way and we owe it to our patients and ourselves to speak up when proper care may be compromised.

And quite a looker, too
Nursing is the most honorable and noble of professions. I am a lucky man to have landed a classic, a woman of principle — dedicated to doing what is right and just for her patients. And it helps that she is still easy on my eyes!