I think every new hire involved in patient care should take a turn in surgery. Then they'd know not only what it's like to walk in our shoes, but why we like those shoes so much.

Favorite smells for $500, Alex
One reason that comes immediately to mind is surgery's sense of humor. The OR is a tough place to work, but at times it can be downright comical, something I don't think outsiders can truly appreciate.

For instance: Just the other day, the PA, scrub tech and I were talking about odiferous cases we'd experienced, and someone mentioned the Mastisol cure. Mastisol: It's not just for dressings anymore. Crack that ampule, smear some on your mask, and nothing stinky is going to get through that barrier.

This led to a discussion about other favorite smells and off-label uses. Me, I love the scent of iodoform gauze. It certainly cheers up a room as you're closing a smelly case. I'd wear it as a fragrance, just to let people know where I work. In the time it took to extubate a patient and move him to PACU, my colleagues and I came up with a commercial jingle to sell iodoform guaze at the cosmetics counter.

We thought it was pretty funny, but — as I mentioned — surgical humor is an acquired taste. Anyway, we weren't quite done yet with the jingles.

Full-time equivalent
It wasn't too far of a stretch to start pitching products that surgery needs. Like a RoboNurse or RoboTech. Why not? There are surgical robots, room disinfection robots and pharmacy dispensing robots. What about a robot that can solve short-staff nightmares without a complaint?

"Got a vacant slot? I think not. Cause you got the 'Bot!" The 'Bot turns over rooms tirelessly and charts to EMRs wirelessly. It can lift anything and pass everything. Plug it in overnight and it's ready for another FTE-worthy one-and-a-half before humankind even shows up on the premises. When you've got the 'Bot, there's no more worrying about call-outs, personality disputes, workers' comp injuries or enforcing breaks. "Get some steel in your room: 'Bot-a-bing, 'Bot-a-boom." (We'd need some pretty solid legal disclaimers, too, just in case a mechanical helper ever went berserk.)

One of the important lessons that working in surgery has taught me is that it's OK to be silly. There are those who would never, ever allow the slightest levity in the sanctity of their ORs. "That's serious stuff going on in there," they'd say. But sometimes there's seriously funny stuff, too, and sometimes the stress level can be awfully high. If a silly moment here and there can help a team to work together when there are tense moments, instead of falling apart, I'm all in favor of it.