Behind Closed Doors

Opinion

By: Paula Watkins

Published: 10/10/2007

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What I Wish I Could Tell Patients


  • That skinny man carrying the big book is your surgeon. He isn't carrying the book for weight training (we OR nurses do all the heavy lifting) it's instructions for your surgery. Relax, I'm sure it's just a security-blanket-type thing. Besides, he could never bring it to the surgical field: It'd ruin the book.
  • You might be surprised to learn that music is a big part of your surgery, and that your surgeon wants rock 'n? roll and wants it loud. That's fine by us: It drowns out his four-letter words and whining.

  • Maybe you've heard about employee aggression in the healthcare workplace, how experienced nurses tend to "eat their young." Many of us don't like this behavior, but when you seldom get a break or lunch, you have to snack on something.
  • The OR might not be as clean as you've been led to believe. I've seen kitchen tables that looked more sterile than some OR beds, even in the best of facilities.
  • The exchange of information isn't always a priority in these hushed corridors, but that's OK. We only miscommunicate when we talk to each other and, since most of our co-workers consider information a power play, we don't always feel the need to share.
  • That federal privacy act, HIPAA, isn't perfect and it's time the regulatory agencies admitted it. Let me get this straight: You can't have anything with a patient's name on it anywhere the public can see it. But in pre-op, a patient's privacy is secured by a curtain with a thread count of about 10 as doctors and nurses recite everything there is to know about him.
  • The surgical team is not always one big happy family. We stick together when it counts, but some of us have been known to manipulate the schedule to keep from having to work with certain people. I've even seen bribes going down.
  • That OR equipment's pretty impressive, but this isn't Star Trek. Just like at home, high technology sometimes includes tape, staples or a paper clip. For instance, Coban works just fine for securing those items stacked on that shelf over your head.
  • Getting pregnant while using a condom does not constitute a latex allergy.
  • We don't always like your surgeon. We can't tell you that because of professional ethics and the fear of losing our jobs. But before you choose, ask around.
  • There are areas of the body that we consider "restricted." Like the area that you've apparently put that foreign body into. If OR personnel are required to take it out, you can count on this news traveling. You can also count on a lot of laughter later, especially if you tell us you "accidentally sat down on it."
  • You know what? We're glad you're here. While it looks like we're complaining, we can't imagine any other job could be as rewarding as this one. Please forgive us our private laugh at your expense behind closed doors. Sometimes that's what makes or breaks the really long days.

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