Confront Difficult Conversations Head On

Seven steps to tackle uncomfortable situations with grace and resolution.

Transitioning from a perioperative nurse to a leadership role in an Ambulatory Surgery Center (ASC) presented me with numerous challenges, but none were as daunting as mastering the art of difficult conversations. While I excelled in clinical knowledge, the realm of business operations was uncharted territory that I could navigate with determination. However, the prospect of addressing conflicts head-on triggered anxiety like never before.

I’ve always prided myself on being a people person—a peacemaker who sought harmony in all situations. Little did I know that what I considered my greatest strength would become a glaring weakness. As a leader, it wasn't about avoiding conflict; it was about confronting it with grace and resolution—an endeavor I felt woefully unprepared for.

Day after day, I witnessed problems escalate. The peaceful environment I once fostered gave way to hostility, and my attempts to restore tranquility fell flat. No matter how often I resolved to have the difficult conversation that was desperately needed, I always succumbed to paralyzing anxiety as the hours slipped away. It became a cycle of avoidance, leading to mounting tension and a backlog of unresolved issues.

Eventually, the inevitable occurred — a heated confrontation between two employees forced me to confront my inability to address conflict. It was a wake-up call I couldn't ignore any longer.

Learning to navigate difficult conversations wasn't a skill that came naturally to me, but it was one I knew I had to master. If you find yourself grappling with difficult conversations, here are the steps I took to conquer my apprehension and cultivate this essential skill:

Accept responsibility
I acknowledged the impact of my avoidance on the team and recognized that they relied on me to address issues promptly. With a subtle shift in mindset, I found the courage to step up and fulfill my responsibilities.

Embrace open communication
I created a culture of open communication, which is essential for handling any difficult conversation. The key to success here: Encourage transparency and honesty among team members to foster an environment where concerns are voiced without fear of judgment.

Prepare and plan
Before initiating difficult conversations, I took time to prepare. Clarifying the purpose, identifying specific examples and anticipating reactions helped me navigate even the most-challenging discussions more effectively.

Choose the right setting
I made it a priority to select a private and neutral location. This ensured both parties felt comfortable and could speak openly without distractions, fostering a safe space for honest dialogue.

Practice active listening
I always aimed to prioritize active listening — giving the other person my full attention, validating their feelings and considering their perspective without interruption — throughout the entire conversation.

Stay calm and constructive
Maintaining composure and focusing on problem-solving rather than blame or criticism helped keep discussions constructive and goal-oriented.

Follow Up
After conversations, I followed up to ensure issues were being addressed and offered support and resources as needed to facilitate resolution.

While I can't claim mastery over difficult conversations, I've learned that it's okay to struggle and that improvement comes with practice, patience and perseverance. What you can’t do is avoid interactions that make you uncomfortable. As an ASC leader, this is essential for fostering a positive work environment, promoting teamwork, and ultimately driving organizational success. Remember you have the capability to navigate difficult conversations; it's simply a matter of adapting your approach to promote peace the right way. OSM