Overcoming Heartbreak in the OR to Save Lives

I want to start with the lowest moment because that really helps to support the highest moments. They kind of align. My lowest moment was when we had an unplanned intraoperative death. Nobody could have predicted it. It occurred during an elective procedure where something really went sideways through no fault of anybody—no fault of any individual or the team. When the code happened, everybody knew their role. But no matter what we tried, it wasn't going to change the outcome. So ultimately, that really impacted not only me but the team. However, it's stuck with me to this day—the sadness, the confusion, and the remorse. And you always ask, 'What could I have done differently?' or 'What if this happens again?'

Even though we received word after the fact that we did everything correctly and that nothing we tried or could have tried would have changed the outcome, it's still not on what I would call our roadmap to our practice because we're there to fix problems. We can fix the problem, even if it's temporary, or just provide some pain relief.

But then on the flip side, there is something that aligns with that event. I have experienced when a death occurs, and more specifically, what has been classified as a cardiac death. We've been able (a couple of times) to be part of an organ retrieval process, which is incredible. Everybody's first thoughts when you hear about organ procurement are that it could be awful. But when you get into it, the pride that you feel with being able to use your skills that you normally use for a living, breathing person to help fix their problem— you get to use those same skills to help. Maybe not that patient who has just so generously decided to donate their organs, but you're helping more than just that person. You're helping multiple people because you've been involved in retrieving a liver or kidney or multiple organs.

After the fact, maybe a few months later, you're notified of the number of people that you were able to help. The feeling of being able to support them in their continued life journey is just incredible. And you think about the families of not only the donor recipients but also the family members of that patient who generously donated their organs.